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Shadows Of The Man He Used To Be
Sofia de Medeiros
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[ti:Parameters] [ar:Ani DiFranco] [al:Knuckle Down] [by:] [offset:500] [00:00.00]Ani DiFranco - Parameters [00:17.12] [00:19.12]Thirty-three years go by [00:20.42]And not once do you come home [00:21.45]To find a man sitting in your bedroom [00:24.78]That is [00:25.53]A man you don't know [00:26.72]Who came a long way to deliver one very specific message: [00:31.94]Lock your back door, you idiot [00:34.17]However invincible you imagine yourself to be [00:36.86]You are wrong [00:37.85] [00:48.41]Thirty-three years go by [00:49.83]And you loosen the momentum of teenage nightmares [00:53.20]Your breasts hang like a woman's [00:55.28]And you don't jump at shadows anymore [00:58.33]Instead you may simply pause to admire [01:00.53]Those that move with the grace of trees [01:02.76]Dancing past streetlights [01:06.21]And you walk through your house without turning on lamps [01:09.18]Sure of the angle from door to table [01:11.35]From table to staircase [01:13.32]Sure of the number of steps [01:15.02]Seven to the landing [01:16.16]Two to turn right [01:17.79]Then seven more [01:19.34]Sure you will stroll serenely on the moving walkway of memory [01:23.71]Across your bedroom [01:24.70]And collapse with a sigh onto your bed [01:27.65]Shoes falling [01:28.82]Thunk thunk [01:29.89]Onto the floor [01:30.94]And there will be no strange man [01:32.85]Suddenly all that time sitting there [01:35.37]Sitting there on what must be the prize chair [01:38.04]In your collection of uncomfortable chairs [01:40.69]With a wild look in his eyes [01:42.31]And hands that you cannot see [01:43.83]Holding what? [01:44.68]You do not know [01:45.77] [01:51.77]So sure are you of the endless drumming rhythm of your isolation [01:56.29]That you are painfully slow to adjust [02:00.33]If only because [02:01.73]Yours is not that genre of story [02:05.39]Still and again, life cannot muster the stuff of movies [02:09.25]No bullets shattering glass [02:11.31]Instead fear sits patiently [02:14.02]Fear almost smiles when you finally see him [02:16.59]Though you have kept him waiting for thirty-three years [02:19.39]And now he has let himself in [02:21.11]And he has brought you fistfuls of teenage nightmares [02:24.02]Though you think you see, in your naivete [02:26.48]That he is empty handed [02:27.69]And this brings you great relief [02:30.15]At the time [02:31.39] [02:35.82]New as you are, really, to the idea that [02:38.78]Even after you've long since gotten used to the parameters [02:41.76]They can all change [02:43.52]While you're out one night having a drink with a friend [02:45.83]Some big hand may be turning a big dial [02:48.79]Switching channels on your dreams [02:50.59]Until you find yourself lost in them [02:53.10]And watching your daily life with the sound off [02:58.71]And of course having cautiously turned down [03:01.24]the flame under your eyes [03:03.28]There are more shadows around everything [03:05.71]Your vision a dim flashlight [03:07.30]that you have to shake all the way to the outhouse [03:10.51]Your solitude elevating itself like the spirit of the dead [03:14.32]Presiding over your supposed repose [03:17.49]Not really sleep at all [03:19.45]Just a sleeping position and a series of suspicious sounds [03:23.55]A clanking pipe [03:24.92]A creaking branch [03:25.95]The footfalls of a cat [03:28.49] [03:37.58]All of this and maybe [03:39.56]The swish of the soft leather of your intruder's coat [03:43.22]As you walk him step by step back to the door [03:46.53]Having talked him down off the ledge of a very bad idea [03:50.70]Soft leather, big feet, almond eyes [03:53.77]The kinds of details the police officer would ask for later [03:56.95]With his clipboard [03:58.38]And his pistol [03:59.77]In your hallway [04:01.18] [04:29.05] [05:09.36] [05:54.37]END
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